If you have been reading about trauma therapy in NYC, you have probably come across EMDR, often described in glowing terms and just as often in slightly mysterious ones. People tend to arrive at it both hopeful and a little wary. They have heard it can help, and they are not quite sure what they would be signing up for.
This is a plain explanation of how EMDR therapy actually works, what it tends to look like, the concern almost everyone has before starting, and how I use EMDR in my own practice. My aim is to take the mystery out of it so you can decide whether it is something you want to explore.
How EMDR Actually Works
EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, rests on an idea developed by its founder, Francine Shapiro, called the Adaptive Information Processing model (Shapiro, 2018). The premise is that the mind, like the body, has a natural drive to heal. When you cut your skin, your body knows how to close the wound unless something blocks it. The AIP model proposes that the mind works the same way with experience, and that trauma can act like that block, leaving a memory stored in a raw, unprocessed form rather than filed away as something that is over (EMDR International Association, n.d.).
When a memory is stuck this way, it can keep firing in the present as if the danger were still happening, carrying the original images, beliefs, emotions, and body sensations with it. EMDR is designed to help the brain finish processing that memory so it can settle into the past where it belongs. It does this while you focus on a back-and-forth stimulation, usually guided eye movements, and sometimes gentle taps or tones (EMDR International Association, n.d.). As the memory reprocesses, its emotional charge tends to ease and more adaptive beliefs about yourself can take hold.
EMDR is not a fringe method. It is recognized by the World Health Organization as an effective treatment for PTSD (World Health Organization, 2013) and used widely for trauma around the world.
What EMDR Actually Looks Like
One of the most common misconceptions is that EMDR is just moving your eyes back and forth. In reality the eye movements are a small part of a structured, eight-phase process that unfolds over a series of sessions (EMDR International Association, n.d.; American Psychological Association, 2023).
The early work is all about preparation. Before any memory is touched, we spend time understanding your history, identifying what you want to work on, and building up your internal resources, the grounding and calming skills you can lean on if things get intense. Some people are ready for this fairly quickly, and others need a good while here, which is completely normal and part of doing the work safely.
When we do turn toward a specific memory, you hold it in mind along with the negative belief, the feelings, and the body sensations attached to it, and then notice what arises during short sets of bilateral stimulation. This is what EMDR is built on, and it has a name: dual attention. You keep one foot in the present, aware of the room and the back-and-forth stimulation, while letting the other foot touch the past (EMDR International Association, n.d.). That split focus matters more than it sounds, because it is what lets you process a painful memory without being pulled all the way back into it, so the work stays manageable instead of flooding. You are not narrating the whole story in detail or reliving it start to finish. You are letting your mind make its own associations while we track how disturbing it still feels, until that charge comes down. We close each session with you settled and grounded, not in the middle of something raw.
The Part Most People Are Nervous About
This is the part I want to speak to most directly, because it is the question underneath so many first conversations: will this be too much?
Almost everyone who starts EMDR feels two things at once. There is hope that maybe this could finally shift something, and there is fear, because turning toward what hurt you is frightening, and part of you would rather not. One of my clients described it perfectly. Starting EMDR, they said, is just like going to the gym: you know you will feel good afterward, but you really do not want to do it.
I take that fear seriously, and so does the method itself. EMDR has safeguards built in precisely so that you are not left flooded. Early on, before any reprocessing begins, we develop grounding tools together and agree on a stop signal, a simple way for you to pause the moment it becomes too much (EMDR International Association, n.d.). You are always in control of that signal. A good EMDR therapist is watching closely and working to keep what surfaces within a range you can actually tolerate, rather than pushing you past it. If you need to stop, we stop. The aim is never to overwhelm you. It is to help you move through something at a pace your system can handle, with someone alongside you the whole way.
How I Work With EMDR
I am trained in EMDR, and I have real respect for it. I also want to be honest about how I use it, because it shapes what working with me is actually like.
I do not offer EMDR as a standalone, by-the-book protocol. I integrate it as one approach among several, and I weave it into the relationship and the longer arc of our work together rather than running it in isolation. For some people EMDR becomes a central part of treatment. For others it is one tool we reach for at the right moment, alongside more relational and experiential work.
The reason is partly evidence and partly how I understand healing. EMDR by the book is built around a structured protocol, and that structure is genuinely part of why it works. What I bring to it is steady attention to the relationship we are building, throughout the process and not only in the early preparation. Decades of research point to the therapeutic relationship as one of the strongest predictors of whether therapy helps (Flückiger et al., 2018). And for trauma that took root in relationships, I have come to believe that relationships are also where much of the deeper repair happens. The reprocessing helps your brain finally file a memory away where it belongs, while the relationship tends to the part of you that once learned it was not safe to be seen.
So if you come to me hoping for EMDR, you will get it, done carefully and with real training behind it. You will also get something a little broader: EMDR held inside a relationship, drawing on experiential and AEDP work where it serves you, so that we are not only processing what happened but tending to how you relate to yourself and others now.
Is EMDR Right for You?
EMDR is not the only path through trauma, and it is not equally suited to everyone or every moment. It tends to be most helpful once there is enough stability and enough of a working relationship to do the deeper processing safely, which is exactly why the early phases matter so much. For some people, particularly with complex or developmental trauma, we may spend a good while building that foundation first, and that is groundwork rather than delay.
The honest answer to whether EMDR is right for you usually comes from a conversation, not a checklist. If you are curious whether it might fit what you are carrying, you are welcome to schedule a consultation and we can think it through together. You can also read more about how I approach trauma therapy more broadly, or about EMDR as one of the services I offer.
This article is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, please reach out for immediate support. In the US, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.
Alisa Wu, MHC-LP, is a bilingual (English and Mandarin) psychotherapist in NYC who is trained in EMDR and specializes in trauma, including complex and developmental trauma. Learn more about her practice or book a consultation.
References
American Psychological Association. (2023). Exploring the 8 phases of EMDR.
EMDR International Association. (n.d.). The adaptive information processing (AIP) model; The eight phases of EMDR therapy.
Flückiger, C., Del Re, A. C., Wampold, B. E., & Horvath, A. O. (2018). The alliance in adult psychotherapy: A meta-analytic synthesis. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 316-340.
Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
World Health Organization. (2013). Guidelines for the management of conditions specifically related to stress.